


What Love Means

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-01
Updated: 2005-04-01
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: This is my AU of what should or could have happened after EP 122.





	What Love Means

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Thanks to my beta. You know who you are. Thank you for a wonderful job. Also thanks to my girls for their true devotion with standing by me on all I do.

* * *

I look over and see Jennifer and the gang trying to hold it together. I should have known better than to show up at Justin’s prom. But I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to show him I cared about his happiness. But all I seemed to do was get him hurt.

I remember how he looked at me when I walked into the room. I was scared out of my head but I wouldn’t let it show. I talked to him and Daphne and then took Justin’s hand and led him to the dance floor. We danced to the song ‘Save the Last Dance for Me’ which fit how I feel about him. How good he looked in his tux. 

I kissed him right there in front of everyone. The smile on his face told me all I needed to know. He looked like an angel. And the Sunshine smile was so bright it could light up the night. Just like the first night I saw him. He was scared, but excited. Like I was feeling tonight.

We head out to the jeep and we kiss again. Talking about how ‘ridiculously romantic’ the night was and I agree. I never let my feelings show, but somehow Justin knows just what my eye, my body is saying to him. 

I watch him start to walk away. Turning around and smiling. I realized just why Debbie calls him ‘Sunshine’, even though I knew. It’s one reason I call him that too. But I also call him that because he has brought nothing but Sunshine into my life since he entered it almost a year ago.

I climb in my jeep and look out the side window in time to see a shadow with a bat in his hand. I knew it wasn’t going to be a pretty thing. I jump out of the jeep, calling Justin’s name to see him turn with a smile in time for the bat to connect with his head. All my fears were coming true as I watched him fall to the ground as I run over and grab the bat, chasing the person responsible for hurting Justin. He falls to the ground as I connect the bat to the back of his knee. 

Dropping the bat I run over and lean over Justin’s lifeless body. Holding him in my arms and pressing the scarf I bought and screaming “NO. NOOOO!!” over and over as I hear the ambulance coming.

I called Mikey once I got here because I can’t seem to get anything out of my mouth. Just ‘Justin, prom, attacked, Hospital” and soon enough my best friend is sitting next to me waiting with me to see if my lover will live or die.

Mikey made the call to everyone in the family and they came running up. I know they blame me for this. I know they blame me for Justin being hurt. How if I didn’t go, Justin wouldn’t have been hurt. Maybe they are right. But my heart tells me they’re not. 

“Mr. Taylor’s family?” I see the doctor but don’t move as everyone moves to him.

“He is in a coma. He’s lost a lot of blood and we won’t know what he may or may not have wrong until he comes around. If he comes around.”

I see Jennifer lean on Debbie as Emmett puts a hand over his mouth. I hear gasps of breaths and my own is stuck in my throat

“Thank you,” Vic tells the doctor.

“You can see him two at a time. No longer then five minutes though. Family can stay as long as needed, but only immediate family.”

“We are all his family,” Jennifer demands.

They all take turns going in and seeing Justin. Jennifer looks at us all and smiles. “I want you all to know how grateful I am that you are here. Justin needs us all.” 

I look away as Jennifer comes to me. “You too Brian. I may not know everything, but I know my son needs you most. He loves you. And regardless of what people think, I know you love him.” I just look away from her as she takes my chin and looks at me. “You do.” I close my eyes, not saying anything.

I walk into the room to see him lying there, with machines all around him making noises. I see his chest rise and fall and it’s the only way I know he’s alive. He looks like he’s sleeping. I just hope he wakes up.

I sit down and take his hand, kissing the top of it 

“I’m sorry Justin. Please come back to me.” I whisper to him.

“Keep talking to him, it helps.” A nurse tells me as she checks Justin’s monitors.

“How is he doing?” I ask.

“As well as he can,” is all she told me before heading out.

I look down at Justin’s form and know that I want to do anything and everything to take his pain away. To bring him back to me. I will never forget that look as the bat made contact. He never saw it coming.

But I did. And I couldn’t stop it. It’s my fault. I froze. “I’m sorry Sunshine. I froze for a fraction of a moment and in that moment, you were hurt. Please don’t leave me.” I see his heart monitor beating faster as I look down into his face and I swear, I see him smile. I feel like he heard me. No, I KNOW he did. He knows I am here.

I sit there, day in and day out, talking to him. Knowing he hears me, I can’t leave him. I went to leave the first night and Jennifer begged me to stay. The look in her eyes made me stay. 

The door opens and as I look up I come face to face with Craig Taylor. The asshole himself.

“What are you doing in my son’s room?” he spits out at me.

“Keeping Justin company?” I look back at Justin’s resting form.

“Well I am here now. You can go and don’t come back.” He walks over to Justin’s side.

“I won’t leave him. Jennifer asked me to stay and I won’t let her down. I can go out and let you be alone with him. Of course that might not be a good idea since you pushed him out of your life because of his life style.” 

“How dare you.” He gets in my face when Justin monitors starts to make noise. The nurse runs in to check on him.

“Ok, it looks to me that you two can’t get along so one of you has to leave while the other is here. It’s obvious Justin is in stress over this.” She looks from Craig to me.

“I’ll go and give you some time with your son, but if you hurt him or cause him more pain, I will hurt you and somehow cause you pain.” I walk to the door and then hear Justin’s monitor getting worse. I turn to see Craig holding his hand. 

“Wait, Mr. Kinney. It seems to me that Mr. Taylor is in stress over this man.” She turns to Craig. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You are putting your son in distress.” “

“Are you out of your mind? He’s my son.”

“And you are not helping. Please leave before I call security,” she calmly states.

“Fuck you, lady.” Justin’s body starts to shake and before Craig could touch him I grab his arm.

“Don’t fucking make this worse on either of you. I told you I wouldn’t let you cause him any more harm. Don’t you see what you are doing? He doesn’t want you here.”

Security comes in and takes him out, screaming the whole way as the nurses come in to calm Justin down. I move between then. 

“Mr. Kinney, please,” one yells at me.

“Let me near him.” I push her aside as I reach Justin’s hand and start stroking it. “Shh Justin, it’s ok. He’s gone. I won’t let him near you again. I am here. You’re okay.” He hears me because before I know it, he is calm and the monitors are back to normal.

“Nicely done, sir.” The nurse smiles at me. 

“Thanks. I just know him.” 

“It shows.”

She goes out as I sit down by Justin, taking his hand. I tell him all about what is going on in the world.

Three days have passed and Justin still hasn’t woken up. He has moments when we know he hears us and they have told me that he responds a lot to me. If he doesn’t wake up soon, he might never wake up.

I sit by him, rubbing his hand as I hold it. I run a hand over his head, kissing it. I lean close to him and start to talk softly to him.

“Justin, I know you can fucking hear me. You have to wake up. Please. I know I don’t speak emotions but if this is what it takes then so be it. Justin, you can’t fucking leave me after making me fall for you. You can’t die on me after you weaseled yourself into my life. Into my heart. Into my very soul. I can’t imagine my life without you. I know it might be hard to get back to normal life, but Justin, I will be there each step of the way. I need you Sunshine. I need your smile. Your laugh brightens my day. You need to know this. I know you do. I might not say it in words, but I know you see it in my actions. To come to your prom makes me see that there isn’t anything in this world I wouldn’t do for you. You were so beautiful when you looked at me. And the dance was incredible. That kiss not only shook the room, but it shook my very soul because at that moment I knew there was no place I would rather be than with you. I should be out doing my ‘pain management’ but I can’t, Justin. I can’t because it won’t stop the pain. The only thing to do is to wake up. Let me see those beautiful blue eyes. See you smile. Please Justin. I love you. I love you so much it hurts.” I feel tears falling down my face, landing on his hand.

I felt his hand squeeze mine and, as I look up, I see blue eyes looking at me. “Oh my god. Justin.” 

“Brian,” he says faintly.

“I’m here.” I can’t stop the sob I have been holding in since that night.

The doctor comes in and checks him over, but Justin hasn’t let go of my hand.

After they do what they need, the tests they need, they leave us alone. 

“Brian,” Justin whispers to me.

“Do you know what happened, Sunshine?” He simply nods.

“You called my name, I turned around. I don’t remember after that.” 

“I didn’t call it soon enough to warn you.” I let a tear fall again.

“That’s not true, sir. If he would have gotten hit in the back or the side of his head, he would have been worse off and probably dead,” the doctor tells us from the door.

“See, always looking out for me.” He smiles at me.

“Justin.” I run a hand over his face.

“See? Your love saved me, Brian. I could hear you and had to get back to you.” Justin lets a tear fall on his cheek.

“I guess there is something to say about love, because yours has saved me too.” He smiles his Sunshine smile and I know I am so losing the reputation I once had before a certain blond twink.

“Justin,” I whisper again.

“I know. I love you too.” It’s all I can take as I lean over, pressing my lips to his as his hand comes up to my neck, pulling me closer.

“No, I want to say it. I love you, Justin Taylor. I want the world to know that you are mine.” 

“Brian?” He looks at me.

“I promised myself that when you woke up I would say this and ask you a certain question.”

“Go on.” 

“I love you. I never want to be apart from you. You know I don’t do marriage, but I want you and me to have a ceremony. I want everyone to know we are partners.”

“Brian, no.”

“No? What do you mean?” I look at him with questioning eyes.

“I don’t need a ceremony to prove you are mine. All I need is you. All I want is you. If you want rings, fine. We can wear them and just let everyone see for themselves. But no need to put your total reputation on the line. I know you love me. That’s all I need.” 

I lean down and kiss his lips once more knowing for sure that I will never let him go. We will have our up and downs, but we will always work them out, together, because this is what love is all about. As I pull him close to me for the rest of my life, two words come to mind.

TOGETHERNESS and LOVE and we have them both.


End file.
